WE’RE LIVING IN ONE OF THOSE TIMES. Our world is topsy turvy now: things happen too fast, and too much is out of control. Remember “normal” times, when you could focus on the little ups and downs of your daily life? That’s not coming back soon. Right now, we need to know how to hold on to stability and calmness when turmoil gets out of hand.
Our lives feel chaotic when a lot of unpredictable, random things happen at once, shredding what’s normal into disorganization and confusion. It catches us off guard. Sometimes it’s localized—in our family or workplace or among friends. But a hurricane or tornado stirs up chaos that can crush an entire community. Right now, in America, political chaos is a national experience, and global warming is pushing turbulence into the far corners of our world.
Just for a moment, imagine you’re in London on Sept. 7, 1940, and 300 German bombers are on their way to kill, maim, and terrify. Then think about the Ukraine, which Russia is trying to crush and absorb. Nobody there knows where it’s safe. Now think of Gaza, where Palestinians are told to move to different locations, only to learn those are the new targets. Chaos doesn’t get more intense than in these sites. And yet, people find ways of dealing with it.
Londoners became so accustomed to German bombing they didn’t even look up when the sirens went off. And they used their sense of humor to hold on to their sanity. One shop keeper, after a bombing, put a sign in front of his shop, saying, “More open than usual! Come on in.” Ukrainians manufacture drones that are cheap, nimble, and accurate to use against lumbering, old fashioned Russian tanks. The Palestinians may have the worst experience: they were under the thumb of Hamas long before the war broke out, which must have affected their spirit. This is external chaos.
But it can also be internal. Not just with mental illness, when people hear voices, and their thoughts are jumbled and nonsensical. But those of us without mental illness experience chaos when we lack important information about what’s happening in our lives, and our normalcy is replaced by inexplicable change.
Whether external or internal, chaos can leave us feeling helpless, out of control, overwhelmed, and frightened.
What to do? It depends. Is the chaos sudden and fiercely intense—a tornado approaching your house and striking within minutes? Or does it build slowly and then plateau, jumbling your life day after day, such as in a workplace when unusual things keep happening that don’t make sense and no one wants to talk about it.
There is now a science of chaos, so we understand it a bit better. For example, we know it’s self-organizing. It’s as though a force in the universe understands that chaotic change has to happen sometimes to disrupt what has been ordinary, and when its purpose is met, it quiets the turmoil down, revealing something new. A family may be turned inside out when its patriarch or matriarch dies. While that person is living, family members’ roles are held in place by the nature of their relationships and the forces of behavioral patterns established in prior generations. But after their death, when stability evaporates and roles change, when conflicts emerge and secrets are told, the unfolding chaos will last until everything settles into a new order.
Chaos is upheaval. When our lives erupt, it’s hard to know what’s going on. We humans, as well as most living beings, are used to predictable change—routines and rhythms that carry us through our days and nights. We’re undone by the sudden and random nature of chaos. We’re not built for it, but guidelines can help us live in the midst of it.
At present in the US, the turmoil being created is accelerating fear on numerous fronts. Mass deportations of people to foreign countries they did not come from; economic pressures from on-again-off-again tariffs; threats to force universities and the press to bend a knee; proposals to cut Social Security/Medicare/Medicaid; official temper tantrums; attacks on non-profits—all this makes the general populace fearful. Because traditional family structures have eroded over time, leaving many families struggling emotionally and financially, the additional pressure coming from external chaos is enough to break some families apart. Many people now feel they are surrounded by danger. It doesn’t help to hear that other countries are falling prey to chaos around the world. On the world stage, we’re witnessing the alienation of American allies. In the presence of chaos it is not wise to alienate others, whether they are nations or members of your family with whom you don’t agree. Whatever your perspective is, feelings of danger are palpable. Functional paranoia is a response to that.
Aside from biting your fingernails, how do you live and keep your head on your shoulders when your life is chaotic, internally, externally, or both? What follows are some thoughts about that.
***
Your mindset is key. It shapes your behavior. It’s time to consciously build a mindset designed for the chaos in our world. Aligning it with your values will make life easier and more authentic. Because this is a time when all life on our planet is threatened to some extent, a set of values that prioritizes living systems and the planet itself will help you succeed.
In chaos, when you can no longer trust what you used to, you have to reassess everything constantly. Even normal sources of information lose their reliability. It becomes clear that you have to be in charge of your life in a new way.
Safety also becomes a high priority. But how do you know you’re safe? You learn to notice the rhythm of your community, so you’ll be aware if it changes. You get used to the same people doing the same things. When you see different people; smell different smells, like gas or smoke; or hear a rumbling in the distance, for example, your attention is sharpened and you investigate.
In chaos, we have to constantly observe and assess all that happens around us and how we respond to it. It’s wise to get to know your neighbors and learn what they do and where they go. In a chaotic environment, going outdoors requires heightened awareness. For safety’s sake, don’t wear your ear pods outside, so you can hear what’s going on around you. Strengthening your relationships with your friends and others you trust bolsters your safety. It’s good to be able to call someone to check things out when you see or hear something unusual. Faith communities provide a measure of protection also. Members look out for each other.
As you observe your environment, try to widen your lens and pay attention to the context. If something is happening in your town, you’ll need to find out what’s happening in the surrounding area. Is there a pattern of events happening throughout the entire area? Are cars being stolen only in your neighborhood, or is this a regional attack? Are teens acting out, or is a crime syndicate moving in? During chaos, normal institutions are fractured: school, work, local government—again, more unreliability.
In a chaotic setting, effective communication is essential. Be sure your communications, whether messages or in person, are clear and unambiguous. If you don’t understand what someone is trying to say, ask them to clarify—again, don’t make assumptions. In that way, you’re helping that person communicate more effectively.
When our lives are largely predictable and regular, we can trust that our assumptions are accurate. In the midst of upheaval and random unpredictability, that goes out the window. Assumptions and trust become misleading and possibly dangerous. In places of all-out chaos, there may or may not be electricity; the hospital down the street may be bombed; food can be a happy surprise; and even the likelihood of your immediate survival is in question. Of course, in the US chaos this intense is unusual, so far. But the same mindset is required for all levels of chaos.
In these situations, as you observe what’s happening, assess it. What values are being expressed? Are you encountering like-minded people, or threats, or can’t you be sure? How do these events fit with your other observations? Are there behavioral patterns that help you understand what’s going on? These assessments can lead to important information.
Always remember, in chaos, you have to be active and vigilant. Learn as much as you can from other people who have survived and even thrived in similar environments. The tools and resources on our website, www.chaosinstitute.org, can also be helpful to you as you engage with chaos in your family or workplace. And it’s important, as hard as it is sometimes, to stay attuned to regional, national, and international news from the sources you deem most fact-based and accurate.
Other blog posts on our Chaos Institute website outline the paradigm shift the world is experiencing. It’s a hidden source of stress and chaos. We hope you’ll read those posts; they may help you understand the background of the more immediate chaos you’re experiencing. And we are available for consultation. Our contact information is also on the website. We hope you find this helpful.